Cariboo Mental Health Association discuss online safety with 100 Mile youth

Once you share an intimate image online it's almost impossible to take it back.

That was a message Kim Fraser, the Cariboo Mental Health Association's community navigator and Legal Aid B.C.'s Community Partner, shared with students at Peter Skene Ogden Secondary School on Feb. 22. Over the course of the day she met with each grade of students to discuss realities of consent, sharing intimate images and the potential for online sextortion.

"What we encourage the kids to do is be open about who they're talking to (online). Be aware of who they're talking to and that if it doesn't feel right, don't do it," Fraser said. "We don't want exploitation and kids killing themselves over the sharing of an intimate image. We can get them the mental health help, the legal assistance and protection from the RCMP. Kids' protection is our priority."

Her visit to PSO earlier this year was prompted by talks with the 100 Mile House RCMP. Fraser said in recent months RCMP have noted a rise in local youth sharing intimate images online and an increase in sexual assaults among youth in the 100 Mile House community.

"(The RCMP) wanted to get out there to the youth in our community about the importance of online safety, regarding specifically around online exploitation, harassment and abuse," Fraser said. "Also consent, that no means no."

In B.C. the legal age of consent is 16 and consent cannot be given when an individual is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, Fraser noted.

Accompanying Fraser to the high school was Const. Richard Fraser, who confirmed RCMP have seen a rise in "reports of sexual assaults and incidents of sharing of intimate images amongst youth in our community." Const. Fraser said with the help of CMHA and Interior Health Youth Mental he was able to have an informative dialogue with the students."

"We were able to discuss the dangers of sexting, sharing of intimate images, and Legal consent," Const. Fraser said. "I also discussed the legal ramifications of resharing intimate images of others and engaging in sexual activity without consent."

To help explain the topic Fraser brought Legal Aid B.C.'s booklet Is That Legal which covers a wide range of topics related to an individual's right to be safe online. She focused particularly on the pitfalls of sharing intimate images online and the potential for them to be used for sextortion.

Fraser said that they reminded students that while you may be in love with someone today, relationships do end. If you've shared intimate images with an ex-partner those images will remain out there.

"We were very surprised by the questions proposed to us during our presentation. Individuals were asking 'If it's on our phone is that ok?' We had to be blunt and say that sharing of an intimate image of someone under the age of 18 is the distribution of child pornography plain and simple. It's against the law and can be charged under the Criminal Code of Canada," Fraser explained.

Const. Fraser noted that people should delete any intimate images of their exes from their devices as sharing them with others without their consent is against the law.

Fraser also took the opportunity to touch upon cyberstalking, both how it happens and how to prevent it. She noted that, especially with the rise of AI in recent years, it's impossible to know who you're really talking to online. Cyberstalkers often use grooming techniques to break down barriers and make their targets more comfortable before digging deeper and asking more personal questions or trying to arrange a meeting in real life.

"It can expand to trafficking where they meet with you and sometimes who you're meeting is not Jenny who is 15," Fraser said.

Such individuals can also convince young people to send them intimate images which they'll then use to extort the victim. This is what happened to a 12-year-old boy in Prince George last October and was a major contributor in him taking his own life.

Fraser said she stressed to the students that should they ever find themselves in a similar situation the most important thing to do is reach out for help. Whether that's talking to a friend, a parent or a trusted adult, they need to remember they're not alone.

If a student does find themselves in a situation where they're being sextored, Fraser and Const. Fraser advised them to document the interactions with the person extorting them. Even if it may be potentially embarrassing to show others, she said having a record of what is happening is important, especially if the RCMP need to get involved.

"If something has happened do not be afraid to come forward, because you will not be judged," Fraser said.

There are several resources that students can access should they need them, Fraser added. These include needhelpnow.ca which can help youth get intimate images of them being shared online taken down and regain control of their situation.

Following the presentation Fraser said students seemed to respond well to the talk, which was done in a trauma-informed way. She noted that several students took the opportunity to ask her and Const. Fraser about sexual assault, which they answered in an appropriate manner.

When asked what parents can do to help protect their children, Fraser said they should make an effort to be aware of who their children are talking to online. Most importantly they should also ensure their children know they can come to them if they're ever in trouble.

While this is all important information for teenagers to know, Fraser noted this is all applicable to adults. Unlike with intimate images of children, she said such images taken of adults are far harder to scrub from the internet.

"Save it for face to face. That's realistically the only advice I can give, save it for consensual face-to-face encounters, not for online," Fraser said.

Fraser invites anyone in need of mental health support or legal assistance to come by the CMHA office at 555 Cedar Avenue or reach out to them via 250-395-4883.